Category: life

Depressed.

I’ve always been one to hide my depression. I’ll usually play it off as anxiety. These last two weeks, I’ve dealt with high functioning depression. I’m pretty much on autopilot and faking a smile.

We have a very sick dog at home and I’m feeling helpless. She needs surgery, but we can’t finance it! So what do we do next? 😭💔 It hurts my head and heart thinking about potential scenarios. She’s still very much aware. She’s just in pain. I want to scream!!!!! AHHHHHHH. 😫

I feel hopeless too. I try to stay optimistic but as of late I don’t feel or think it.

Doing my best to hold on. I’m absolutely terrified.

Please keep me and my family in your thoughts. We definitely need lots of prayers. Thank you!

Good night.

b

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For Beari. ❤️🐻❤️

Hello! Life’s been pretty busy for me these days, but I just want to say hey.

We’ve launched Beari’s chemotherapy fundraiser. If you have the means, please consider donating to our cause. We love her so much!!!! Thank you.

Time is flying, but enjoying the ride. Excited about a lot of things! Staying hopeful. 💜

Hope everyone is doing well! Take care.

Good night.

b

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Little Mix. 💗

They’re officially on hiatus and I’m feeling a lot of things. I’m sad, but looking forward to their solo careers! I wish Jade, Leigh-Anne, and Perrie all the best. I hope they crush it!!! 🥰

I set my alarm for 11:20am yesterday. I knew I had to be up by noon. They were running fashionably late. Once the global stream started, I was ecstatic! I never got to see them live so this was the next best thing. Part of me wanted to fly to London, but I had to weigh out my options. And unfortunately I didn’t have the budget to fly. So however long this hiatus lasts, I’ll be ready!!! Planning to save now so I can hopefully see them in 2-3 years.

They sang all of our faves. I watched the stream with my twin sis! We’ve been fans since the start. I lost it during Between Us and Secret Love Song. They’re role models on what it means to be an ally and beyond. They’ve changed my life in so many ways. When I listen to their music I feel like a brand new person. Confident and unstoppable! 💜 A lot has changed for me in the last decade and my only hope is that I continue to grow and carve out my own path.

I already miss them so much! But here’s to the next 10 years. Little Mix Forever! I love y’all to pieces. Would be cool to eventually meet all of them in the future. Until then, I’ll plan for our next trip to London. Covid is still very real so it’s best to be prepared in my case.

So here’s my vow
Starting from here and now
Nothing comes between us
Nothing comes between us
I swear that we won’t lose this thing we found
‘Cause love will never leave us
Nothing comes between us, between us 🦋

Thank you for the music, Little Mix! Continue to shine.✨

Good night.

b

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Update.

Hello! It’s been a few weeks and I come with an update.

I’ve attended a few events: Buster Posey Day at the yard, my first concert since 2019, and celebrated Mother’s Day with the fam. I also just signed papers to be a barista/cashier again! I hope it goes well.🤞

I had my interview for the mochi film I decided to help with and l was a mess. I probably should’ve prepared more beforehand and I was nervous! But Kristine was very patient with me. I hope I didn’t embarrass myself. 😬 I overthink a lot. Wahhh!

I need to finish my cert for my TEFL. I’ve put it off for so long. I’m almost there! I need to complete it before the end of June. I’m a little stressed since I start training for my new gig next week. Also nervous for that.

I saw Paul McCartney on Sunday! It was amazing. I’ve seen both living Beatles. George was my favorite. RIP to him and John. Truly missed! 🤍

Getting sleepy. My nap threw me off. And omg the Philippine election. Don’t even get me started! It’s upsetting to me as a Filipino American. I want real leadership to steer the country in the right direction. I want progress! I wasn’t born there, but I’m still very connected to the birthplace of my parents and ancestors. LABAN 🇵🇭💗

There’s a lot to do and I’m feeling overwhelmed sometimes. Taking it a day at a time! Wishing you all well. Until next time.

b 💜

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A busy 🐝!

Hello! It’s been a while. Just wanted to type up an update. 🙂 I hope everyone is doing well! The NBA playoffs have started, baseball is back (Go Giants! 🖤🧡), and spring is here!!! ☀️ Love it.

I attended the NCCBF! 🌸 Both weekends. First weekend was to visit our cousin and his partner. She’s running her own small biz! Good times. The second weekend we lined up early for teriburgers! Delicious. Wish we bought more. 😋 Also got to buy Japanese snacks, mochi, and some other goodies. Japantown is one of my fave spots in the city!

A few days ago – we returned to Davis. It was for Dr. Fujimoto’s memorial. So many beautiful stories and memories were shared. I miss college! I was inspired again just being back. I want to do more!!! Aggies 🐴💙💛 We bought all of our favorite food, caught up with familiar faces, and took some nice pics on campus. We bought some new UCD swag to wear and rep. We missed Picnic Day by 2 days! I ended up buying this year’s tee.

I’m in the middle of job hunting again. I’d like to have a summer job if I can find one. Looking for a stable position that also works with my own schedule + energy levels. Being a lupus patient can be a lot, but it’s important to listen to your body! Rest is essential. In my case, I always nap. 💜 Lupus Awareness Month is coming up. I love sharing facts and information!!

I’m playing a lot of Pocket Camp! It’s fun. Too many Animal Crossing games to choose from.

Lots of books on my reading list! I also have tv shows and movies I’ve been meaning to watch. Balance is so important right now! I’m also trying to exercise more. Time management. 😮‍💨

Wishing you all a great week! 💗

Good night.

b

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Life update.

It’s been warm in San Francisco! It’s been nice, but also concerning. Growing up I remember February always brought rain and the cold. I don’t hate it! It’s nice to walk around and catch some rays. Global warming and climate change is happening. Terrifying!!!

The most important errand I ran this week was renewing my DL. I made my appointment to the DMV beforehand and prepared all the necessary documents. I was there 30 minutes at most. I hope my picture turned out okay! 😂

Still praying and thinking of our uncle. Still haven’t been sleeping well, but I’m trying. Worrying puts my body under a lot of stress. Trying to normalize a routine that works for me.

Temp work is picking back up again! I logged an hour, but I had to nap afterwards. The heat wasn’t helping. I hope to get more done next week.

I’m trying to figure out my Saturday plans. Hmm…I might just stay in. I really wanted to make a quick trip to See’s. Their chocolate is the best. 😋 Birthday countdown is 8 days!!! It’s a mix of dread and excitement. Ahh. But I always tell myself, it’s a privilege to grow old. ❤️

I hope to sleep soon. Wishing you all well! Happy weekend ☀️

Take care!!

b

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Never mind.

Haven’t been able to blog daily, so I’ll just type up an entry when I can. 😬

I had a very busy day. Now I’m tired. I’d love to nap right now. 😴 But first I’m going to look into impala skates. I want to start rollerblading again! I used to all the time growing up. I think it’d be fun to pick it up again.

Still praying for our uncle. We love you, Tito Roland! 💗

ACNH not being good to me right now. I ordered a statue and it hasn’t been delivered to me. It’s going on 2 days. Wth?!! 😤

Don’t have any exciting weekend plans. I’ll be cleaning and gathering donations or putting things up on Poshmark.

Alright I’m going to lie down. Happy weekend to all!

Good night.

b

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Happy February!

I’ll be blogging daily for the month. February holds a special place in my heart. Bday month! Yay 💜

I’m in a somber mood. One, the Jimmy G era is about to close in SF. I really wanted us/him to get #6 for us and it wasn’t in the cards. 😭💔 I know he’s handsome, but he’s such a classy dude. This year was heavy and he carried himself with grace. 3-5 to the NFC Championship Game! Incredible. I wish him all the best wherever he goes. I’ll be rooting for him always. Thanks for everything, Jimmy! You’ll be missed.

Two, our uncle is very sick. I’m trying to hold it together, but I’ve cried a few times. It’s difficult being separated from each other during this time. The pandemic robbed us of time to be together. I pray for his comfort and peace. I’m so grateful that we’ve been able to share memories together since 2012. That was a life changing year and it’s still felt to this day.

There are other things going on with me and I’m honestly taking it a day at a time. I haven’t been super motivated and I feel a bit hopeless at times with the job search. I yearn to go back a few years when I was really happy and on top of the world! Thankfully, I get to chat with my therapist next week so I hope it’s a good session.

I’m eating comfort food, but also trying to establish an exercise routine that’ll work for me. We finally made Filipino breakfast: rice, eggs, tomatoes, spam, and longanisa. 😋 This is why I gotta work out. Lol.

I look forward to the rest of this month! It’s only day 1. I’m going to make the most of it. 💗

I’m hoping to sleep soon. It’s been hard to fall and stay asleep. My thoughts have been racing.

Good night.

b

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Some thoughts.

22 days into 2022 and I’m still feeling a bit blah. Year 3 of this pandemic and it’s exhausting! Shout out to all the healthcare workers. Thank you for all that you do.

Applying to remote jobs has been a drag. Staying hopeful, but lacking motivation. I’m so close to completing my certification for my TEFL, but I’ve put that on hold for now. I have until the summer, yet I’d like to complete it before my birthday next month.

This year is a fresh start! I’m excited for what maybe in store. I’m also emo since we haven’t been able to see family due to Omicron. I think it’s subsiding in the Bay Area. Great news! I’m yearning to travel, but that’s still on hold. I’m doing my best to take care of myself holistically. It’s tough, but baby steps.

I took a nap so I’m awake. It’s officially game day. Niners vs. Packers @ Lambeau Field! I’m nervous excited. Not sure if I’ll get much sleep tbh. 🙃 GO NINERS!!!! #FTTB

Wishing you all a great weekend! Stay safe and be well.

Good night.

b

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Farewell to you, 2021!

As I reflect on this year, there’s a lot to take away. So many highs and lows. I’m very hopeful that 2022 will be amazing. That’s always my mindset at the beginning of the year! I try to be consistent, but life happens.

Very thankful to be vaccinated and boosted! It was a relief early on to finally see family and friends in person. I was so happy! Omicron is here and I continue to stay vigilant. I’m very mindful and considerate of others during the pandemic. It’s been exhausting, but I persist. I care about my family, friends, colleagues, and the community.

I’m hoping for pleasant surprises come 2022! Whatever that might be, I’m ready. I plan to get my first tattoo after our birthday. Still trying to figure out what I want. I also want to take care of myself holistically – mind, body, and soul.

I just did my makeup even though we’re staying in again this year. Totally fine with it! We cooked yummy food, ordered ice cream, and plenty of wine to go around. Can’t wait! I’m going to enjoy the night with a side of Animal Crossing New Horizons. 😊

So here’s to 2022! May it be filled with good times and memories. 🎉🥂❤️

Take care if you’re heading out. Stay safe and enjoy the night! For those staying in, may you have good company to enjoy the festivities.

See y’all in 2022!!! 🎇 Good night.

b

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