😔

We have 1.5 days left with Beari. Her send off will be Saturday afternoon. I requested the day off from work to grieve with family and process.

Tried to make the most of Thanksgiving, but it was just so somber. She’s still alert and has an appetite, but she physically can’t keep up anymore. 2022 has been so hard! I really thought things would improve for her after her diagnosis. It was pretty much an uphill battle.

Thankful for the almost 6 years we had with her. It’s going to be tough. I can’t. 💔

I’ll distract myself later, but this chapter of our lives is almost over. I’m so sad. I’ve accepted it, but she’s leaving us too soon.

Good night.

b

The final days.

I didn’t think we’d be saying goodbye so soon. Beari’s cancer has spread and we’re out of options. I wish we had more time, but we had five great years together.

We’re planning for her best week ever! The beach, her fave foods, and whatever else we can think of to send her off.

Losing a pet is never easy. But seeing her in pain is really tough. 😭

I wish her peace and comfort. We love you, Beari. ❤️🐻❤️

I am broken.

b

Depressed.

I’ve always been one to hide my depression. I’ll usually play it off as anxiety. These last two weeks, I’ve dealt with high functioning depression. I’m pretty much on autopilot and faking a smile.

We have a very sick dog at home and I’m feeling helpless. She needs surgery, but we can’t finance it! So what do we do next? 😭💔 It hurts my head and heart thinking about potential scenarios. She’s still very much aware. She’s just in pain. I want to scream!!!!! AHHHHHHH. 😫

I feel hopeless too. I try to stay optimistic but as of late I don’t feel or think it.

Doing my best to hold on. I’m absolutely terrified.

Please keep me and my family in your thoughts. We definitely need lots of prayers. Thank you!

Good night.

b

We need your help!

Beari needs another surgery due to a broken hip. We found out a week ago and we’re just devastated! It might be cancer related. Posting her GoFundMe page again.

If you are able, please donate to our cause! I’ve been a hot mess. I’m sad, depressed, and feeling hopeless.

We just want her to be okay. She’s been through so much. 😭🐻❤️ We love you, Beari.

Thank you.

b

For Beari. ❤️🐻❤️

Hello! Life’s been pretty busy for me these days, but I just want to say hey.

We’ve launched Beari’s chemotherapy fundraiser. If you have the means, please consider donating to our cause. We love her so much!!!! Thank you.

Time is flying, but enjoying the ride. Excited about a lot of things! Staying hopeful. 💜

Hope everyone is doing well! Take care.

Good night.

b

Life update.

B had her surgery yesterday. She’s alert and comfortable. But she hasn’t eaten yet. I’m hoping her appetite returns. ❤️🐶❤️

It’s been an anxious and overwhelming time. Trying to stay positive through it all. I’ve shed tears already. 😭

We just want her to be okay and back to her usual self. Please send prayers and good vibes.

I’m going to watch some movies and tv shows to take my mind off of things. Not sure if I’ll get much sleep.

Wishing you all a good night.

Bern

Day 408.

Happy Saturday! I needed to rest and that’s exactly what I did. I’ll be working on some stuff though before I sleep. Gotta get it done!!!

  • I got to sleep in! It was amazing.
  • We decided to order lunch to celebrate our beloved Coco. She would’ve been 20! She was a beautiful dog. Happy Birthday! Love you. ❤️
  • Lunch was delicious! Very savory and flavorful. I’ll definitely order from Saucy Asian again. 😋
  • I watched some baseball on TV. And then I started to get sleepy so I took a long nap. It eventually turned into deep sleep. I’m pretty alert now so I’ll work in a few.
  • Dad is feeling better. Still praying for his healing and good health!!! 🥰🙏🏼
  • Ordered from another Canadian company for hair accessories. Part of the proceeds will be donated to breast cancer!
  • I really want to make spaghetti again. Might go shopping for some of the ingredients tomorrow. Yes!!!
  • It was a mellow day. It was cold.
  • Played some Animal Crossing! All my turnips have been sold. Did the usual on Mango. Celeste visited last night. Need more DIY recipes from her. Nothing new to report today. Need to start gifting things to my villagers again.

Hope it was a great day for everyone! Take care.

Good night.

b

Day 402.

[Sunday, April 18, 2021]

I’m late! My mind has been all over the place. I just realized I forgot to blog. I’m currently listening to Catholic songs and hymns. It’s helping, but I’m still anxious!! 😢

  • I studied my butt off. I got through two sections and I’ll be going over the final one for this module later. I plan to turn in my module assignment this week. I can do this!!!
  • My sleep hasn’t been great. That explains why I’m still awake right now.
  • Praying for Dad. I’m even sending him messages on FB. Get well soon! 💗
  • I played Animal Crossing to get my mind off of things, but it’s tough.
  • The weekend came and went! I don’t believe it. Ahh. It’s a new week, so I’m ready for whatever it may bring!
  • Hanging out with the dogs is helping.
  • I still get sad. Trying to breathe through it all.

I hope y’all had a nice one. Take care!

Good night/morning.

b

Day 401.

Happy Saturday! My mind has been all over the place. I’ve tried to focus, but it’s hard. Sending my Dad lots of healing energy! Love you. 💗

  • I didn’t sleep very well again. It’s been tough to fall and stay asleep.
  • I eventually took a nap for a few hours and got ready for the day.
  • Ran some errands! Bought a cake and gelato for our Tita’s birthday. HBD! 🥳🎂❤️
  • We had BK for lunch. The cheese tots! 😋
  • After lunch, we dropped off our aunt’s cake and gelato. We all signed her card too. She read it in front of us and I wasn’t expecting her to do that. She was moved! 🥺
  • We got to hang out with Tink and catch up with our cousins.
  • Bro’s friends stopped by and dropped off cookies. We got to meet Cookie too. What a sweet dog! 🥰
  • Continuing to pray for Dad.
  • I spent two hours studying. I’ll continue studying tomorrow! I’m ready to get this module done. Proud of my efforts and progress.
  • Trying to stay calm, but I’m all over the place at the moment. I even got in touch with a friend to talk me through it.
  • Had Chinese food for dinner. Now I’m reheating popcorn chicken. 😋
  • Lastly, I played a lot of Animal Crossing! Finally got the diy for the crescent moon chair. Made me so happy! And I got Goldie’s photo. 🥲

Hope y’all had a nice one! Continue to mask up and distance yourselves. Take care. 😷

Good night. 💜

b

Day 387.

Happy Saturday!!! 💛 Happy Birthday to our dear Sal. She’s 8 today! We love you. 🐶

  • I stayed up trying to find cherry blossom DIYs. It’s driving me nuts because they’re pretty rare to come by when shooting the presents. AC can be so addicting!!!
  • I watched The Broken Hearts Gallery. It was pretty good!
  • I took a long nap since I was so groggy.
  • Missed out on the UCLA game. They didn’t win. 😭💙💛 Bruins forever!!!!!!
  • Washed the dishes. Going to shower shortly.
  • I’ve been looking at old pictures. Trying to find more from our Mom’s side. To be young again. ❤️
  • Can’t believe it’s Easter tomorrow! So much to do. It’ll all get done.

Hope y’all had a nice one! Take care.

Good night.

b