Back to reality.

I’m home from vacay and I already miss it! The food, the people, and the culture. The spirit of aloha is beautiful.

I cried yesterday thinking of Beari. It’s going on three months and I hate it! She was a beautiful dog. Missing her a lot these days. ❤️🐻❤️

Working later and I’m okay with it. Time to buckle down and focus on school too. Can it be spring already?! So over the winter. Bring me back to the humidity and 79 degree weather. 🌺

Well, I’m tired. Need to get as much rest as I can.

Good night.

b

😭💔

I’ll continue to stay faithful, but the NFCCG was ass. As soon as Purdy went down, we had no chance. I’m numb at this point. We get so close, but still so far.

I’m currently on vacation and I should be enjoying myself, but nah. Other things are on my mind. I try to be kind and to do my best with everything by putting others before myself and somehow I’m called a narcissist. Far from it! 😒🙄

Anyway, I’ll really miss football. Bring on, basketball and baseball!

I’ve got school and work to focus on in a few days. Back to reality shortly. Going to milk the last few days in Hawaii.

Good night.

b

Grief.

I can remember a relative passing away when I was 12. It was my first real glimpse with death. I can also recall our first pet’s passing. It was a cold and rainy day in January. She was too young. 😭

It’s normal. As you age, the people around you get older and pass on. I lost three grandparents in the 2010s. As a young adult, the loss was palpable. I was sad, angry, and in disbelief. I’ve come to terms with it a decade later, but the void never leaves me. The same can be said about family pets.

Losing Beari has suffocated me at times. I didn’t want to let go, but euthanasia was the best for her. I’m still so angry because cancer took her away from us. I just picked up her chew toys in my room. I miss her so much. Her scent lingers at home. The silence is deafening. I miss her barks. I miss her companionship. I miss everything! 🥺 This is an adjustment period. It’d be nice to take in another dog, but I’m not ready. We’re not ready.

Her birthday is almost here. We’d like to have a special meal for her and maybe some cupcakes to celebrate her life. Change comes with the territory. I’m doing my best to adapt. Owning a pet is one of the greatest feelings in the world! But saying goodbye is the hardest part.

I love you, Beari. ❤️🐻❤️

b