Trying to figure things out for myself. This year has been a lot – mentally and emotionally.
A day at a time. Breathe.
š
Friendships.
I couldnāt sleep right away so I was just sitting and reflecting on my friendships – past, current, and future.
I bring those to life tbh. Sometimes itās reciprocated and sometimes itās not. I thought about the friendships that are no longer active in my life. The ongoing theme is me reaching out. Once I stop reaching out, itās quiet af.
It makes me feel small sometimes, but Iāve learned to reframe it. But it makes me question myself. Am I too much? š I think I do my best with friendships, even when I donāt have the capacity. I listen, I offer advice when Iām able to, and I love gifting things to others. Iām always so thoughtful.
Consideration. Sighhh. Sometimes I feel like Iām just an afterthought. A painful realization. But I also have a lot of good people in my corner.
I know connections donāt last forever and some people come into your life for a season and maybe even as a lesson. But I truly do care about every encounter and every conversation Iāve had with others. I just wish people treated me as such.
I wonāt stop being a good person, but sometimes I just want someone else to handle things for me. Iām tired. š
Good day!
b
Melancholy.
Thatās been my current state. Also Iām very tired. I worked 6 days in a row. Day off wasnāt really a day off. Back to work later š
Keeping away from social media rn. It annoys me so badly. Like thatās how people stay connected?! Itās so fake and hella curated. Part of me wants to stay away for a while. People know how to reach me, but itās quiet.
Just processing a lot of things. My health is taking a hit rn. Some of my labs are elevated and the other is lower than normal. So Iām taking my iron again. Hopefully that boosts my system come mid-August.
Still trying to figure something out. Itās been bothering me.
HKIA has been my lifesaver tbh.
Well, this is good night.
b
Brooo.
Juggling a lot of questions, but I feel like I already know the answers.
But sometimes, you just gotta live and do the damn thing. Sighhh. Let me sit with all of this. If thereās supposed to be some sort of sign or direction in the next few days, that would be helpful. š
Iām tired. Physically and mentally. I need a mini summer break, but I donāt know if thatāll happen.š¤
HKIA is keeping me busy. Iāve slept late the last two days. I need to chill, but itās such a fun game.
Anyway, I should get ready for bed and then play again. Hahaha.
Good night.
b
Itās July.
I have no idea what Iām currently doing. Iāll revisit this later. šš
Lots of changes. Iām trying to be okay with it. Feeling a lot of things.
Sighhh.
Good night.
b
Ariana Grande!!
My twin sister and I were in attendance for n1 in Oakland. Opening night!!! We were both so excited. It was her first Ari show. It was my third. š©µ We took the ferry over. Hella scenic and peaceful.
It was an amazing day. Just didnāt like the rude merch lady. I said she skipped me and she was like no I didnāt. If you didnāt bother to acknowledge me, thatās totally skipping me and tending to the people behind me. But whatever. The cashier was way nicer. I donāt understand the rude tone from some people. Just own up to your mistake and carry on.
I ended up getting an additional shirt and a tote bag. I got everything else at the pop up! Really glad I went the first day bc they ran out of stuff in the city.
Iām hella grateful I got tix face value! Resellers suck.
Ariās back!!! ā¤ļø Hope the rest of tour goes well. Pop up madness in LA. I feel bad for the people who lined up today and still didnāt get in. They need to be better about restocking!!! And start putting a limit on stuff. They didnāt do that for SF.
Early day for me! Iām excited. Hope I get the blind box I want. Haha.
Good night.
b
Reset.
Things are getting calmer on my end. Final project and final exam have concluded. Work is slowing down and Iāve only got a few more weeks of teaching. I need a vacay, but Iāll take going to concerts as my getaway!!! Ari in 13 days ahh š©µ
Missing someone and not being able to talk to them because I might be bothering them or they donāt want to hear from me is a bit discouraging so Iām just doing my own thing atm. š Iām such a Pisces, lol
Yesterday was a rare Saturday off for me so I had brunch with my sister and we played tourist for the day. Wore the wrong shoes. š Now my feet are paying for it. Oh well
Ate a lot of delicious food and snacks! I love you, San Francisco.
I donāt want anyone trying to piss me off later. I know how I can get. š
So many changes and moving pieces right now. Iām feeling a lot. Itās truly bittersweet, but maybe I just need a new chapter. Tapping into my hobbies and itching to be creative again.
Got my hair done almost a week ago. Iām summer ready!!! Itās so pretty. Hereās to the long weekend.
Good night!
b
Emo af.
Been tired. Been sleepy. Been running around everywhere!
School is winding down. Work is too. I hope I can do some fun things in a few weeks.
I canāt forget to live in whimsy! š
Time to sleep. Good night!!
b
I canāt again.
Sally was diagnosed with mammary cancer yesterday. Brings me back to 2022! I canāt. š Iāve been processing it. I cried before I tackled the day. I was on the verge of tears at work.
Sheās such a sweet dog. Iām hoping we get more time with her.
Day by day. Thatās the motto.
Then other stuff is bothering me too. I donāt like it when people get in my business and I didnāt ask them for their opinion. šš¤
I know Iām stubborn. Let me be. Mistakes, lessons, etc.
Iām just sad. Feeling quite anxious and lonely.
Sighhh. Iāll figure it out.
Time to sleep. Good night!
b
Life lately.
Been taking a mini break from social media. Itās been nice not looking at stories, lolll.
First drone flight yesterday! I was nervous, anxious, and excited. Classmates were way too close to each other. I was the second person there and everyone started crowding.
Learning a lot! Itās fun. Just need to read more. Did well on my midterm too. š Spring break next week, but I work. Ahh!
Doing my best to show up for myself. My Lyft driver rephrased āIām tiredā to āIām activeā. He also gave me a confidence boost. Something Iāve been lacking these last few weeks.
I still miss him. š„²
Sutro Tower! š§” Looking forward to flying more. The more practice, the better.
Still awake. Should probably ko soon.
Later!
b
let me think. 