😔

We have 1.5 days left with Beari. Her send off will be Saturday afternoon. I requested the day off from work to grieve with family and process.

Tried to make the most of Thanksgiving, but it was just so somber. She’s still alert and has an appetite, but she physically can’t keep up anymore. 2022 has been so hard! I really thought things would improve for her after her diagnosis. It was pretty much an uphill battle.

Thankful for the almost 6 years we had with her. It’s going to be tough. I can’t. 💔

I’ll distract myself later, but this chapter of our lives is almost over. I’m so sad. I’ve accepted it, but she’s leaving us too soon.

Good night.

b

The final days.

I didn’t think we’d be saying goodbye so soon. Beari’s cancer has spread and we’re out of options. I wish we had more time, but we had five great years together.

We’re planning for her best week ever! The beach, her fave foods, and whatever else we can think of to send her off.

Losing a pet is never easy. But seeing her in pain is really tough. 😭

I wish her peace and comfort. We love you, Beari. ❤️🐻❤️

I am broken.

b

Depressed.

I’ve always been one to hide my depression. I’ll usually play it off as anxiety. These last two weeks, I’ve dealt with high functioning depression. I’m pretty much on autopilot and faking a smile.

We have a very sick dog at home and I’m feeling helpless. She needs surgery, but we can’t finance it! So what do we do next? 😭💔 It hurts my head and heart thinking about potential scenarios. She’s still very much aware. She’s just in pain. I want to scream!!!!! AHHHHHHH. 😫

I feel hopeless too. I try to stay optimistic but as of late I don’t feel or think it.

Doing my best to hold on. I’m absolutely terrified.

Please keep me and my family in your thoughts. We definitely need lots of prayers. Thank you!

Good night.

b

⚾️🥵

Baseball is my escape. Bummed that the season is winding down, but it is what it is. Looking forward to football! 7 more days. Niners!!!

Went to the Giants game with my friends. We won!!! Couldn’t stay in our seats though. Too hot!

It was Alaska voucher day. I’m trying to figure out where to go and when. I’m leaning towards Hawaii. I miss the islands! Haven’t been since 2004. Would love to return. I’ll be very respectful to the land.

There’s a lot on my plate, but taking it day by day. We’re still fundraising for Beari’s chemo and it’s been really slow. I’m grateful for any amount people are able to donate. We gotta get creative, but I’m not sure how.

I’m super sleepy. I took a nap earlier, but it didn’t really help.

It’s warming up in the SF Bay Area. Thankfully SF will be decent compared to inland temps. I cannot! Please stay cool and hydrated. 🌊 We’re a few weeks away from the fall! I’ll miss the summer, but I’m ready for everything pumpkin. 😋🎃

Wishing you all a great week! Take care.

b

For Beari. ❤️🐻❤️

Hello! Life’s been pretty busy for me these days, but I just want to say hey.

We’ve launched Beari’s chemotherapy fundraiser. If you have the means, please consider donating to our cause. We love her so much!!!! Thank you.

Time is flying, but enjoying the ride. Excited about a lot of things! Staying hopeful. 💜

Hope everyone is doing well! Take care.

Good night.

b

Back again.

Last weekend I attended Outside Lands! I haven’t been back since 2009. I was so happy and excited to be back again. I spent the day with my sister. We listened to amazing music, ate awesome food, and enjoyed the weather! (We just got exposure notifications for Covid yesterday! So we tested at home and it’s negative. We were masked for most of the festival so🤞). I plan to get tested again.

Planet Booty was fun to listen to as we ate lunch. I was most excited for Griff! We walked over to her set as soon as we were done eating. I wasn’t front row, but I was close enough. This was her first American music festival. I’d love to see her in the UK one of these days. Bummed I didn’t get to meet my friends, but there’s always next time.

We ended up staying for Pusha T’s entire set. I had to sit down and mellow out. I was waiting for Weezer!!! 🥰 They were incredible. I wasn’t in front for that either, but that’s okay. We decided to eat before the last few sets. Quesabirria tacos 😋 So good!

We split our time between ILLENIUM and Post Malone. Glad we caught both! I love live music. Planning to attend again next year, but it depends on the lineup. It was a successful OSL! I’ll share more pics in another post.

Just really thankful I was able to experience it again. 💜

Happy Thursday to all!

b

My escape.

Sports has always been my saving grace. It was nice to be back at the yard! The Giants did very well. They almost blew it in the end. Perfect day for Will Clark’s retirement number ceremony.

I did have to unmask for a bit while I ate. I’ll probably test myself in a few days. No one around us was masked. Big yikes!!! 😳

It’s been tough these last two weeks, but we’re still standing. I’ll remain hopeful and I’ll continue to pray. My faith guiding me through this very difficult time. Send some love to our darling dog, Bear. ❤️🐻❤️

I’m clean and I’m ready to just unwind before I sleep. Thankful I’m off tomorrow.

Go Giants!!!! 🖤🧡

Good night.

b

😭😭😭

The news this week has hit me hard. Our dog has cancer. Makes me sad to say or even think about it.

How can she be this sick at five years old? I’m gutted. 💔

Doing my best to stay productive and go about my week. I’m pretty depressed. I’m still crying as the days go on. I feel numb.

Going to try and sleep. Hold your loved ones close. Good night.

b

Self care.

I was able to decompress these last few days! I’m reenergized for the rest of the week. I’ll most likely be working during the holiday and I actually don’t mind. I’m all caught up with my shows.

Caught up with our great friend, Walter for lunch today. It was nice to talk and update each other with our lives. We got to window shop too. I bought myself some new books, a Marge baggu that I’ve been eyeing, a purple pen, and an eraser. Reasonable purchases. I’m starting to save up again which is important!!! I’m looking into getting a second job. Sign of the times. 🙃 We’ll see how that goes.

Hoping to sleep soon. I’m snacking though! Chips, salami, and some fruit. 🙂

Giants are failing me. Womp. I miss basketball and football!!!

Wishing you all a great holiday weekend! Take care.

Good night.

b