Day 320.

It’s Tuesday! 🙃 I’m close to blogging for a year. My objective was to blog during lockdown so I can look back during this unprecedented time and here we are. 320 days later and progress has been made, but we’re still in the middle of it.

Some days are good. Some days are terrible. And some days are mixed. I’m going through it and it’s okay to acknowledge my emotions and feelings. I have been feeling sad as of late. A lot of it stems from not seeing family and friends often and losing friendships. I’ve accepted that especially! People come and go. I feel like I’m fighting to keep people in my life that aren’t worthy. Effort must be made on both ends and if that doesn’t happen, the relationship doesn’t survive. 😭 I share responsibility in that. Some friendships have expiration dates. It’s time to move on eventually.

  • Just dealing with a lot of life stuff. My main focus right now is my health – all aspects of it!! I hope I can tackle some of my goals. Let’s do this!!
  • Work went well. Tuesdays are my short days. I got home in time before the storm.
  • I’ve been really lazy and 🥶
  • My tamagotchi traveled to London again and I’ve hatched a new one. It’s so smol. Hoping to get another bow this time around.
  • It’s been a year since Kobe’s passing. RIP to him, Gianna, John, Keri, and Alyssa Altobelli, Sarah and Payton Chester, Christina Mauser, and Ara Zobayan. 🤍
  • Trying to survive the week.
  • No players were inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame. I’m 😱
  • I really want to make a fruit smoothie.
  • Animal Crossing and the Sanrio collab was released today! I want those amiibo cards. Dropping in March. It’ll most likely sell out. I’m ready.
  • Taking deep breaths as of late has helped.
  • Reading too! I can’t believe January is almost over. I’m ready for the best month ever. February rules!! 💜

Hope y’all had a nice one. Take care!

Good night.

b

Day 313.

Happy Tuesday! It’s Inauguration Eve. Exciting!!! I’m planning to get up to watch live coverage. 😊💙

  • It was really windy in the SF Bay Area last night and into most of today. I didn’t sleep well because of it. So much howling. Terrifying!
  • My day went well. One student on my roster and it was an early dismissal day. Yay! I hope tomorrow won’t be too challenging. I can do this!!
  • Found a mini library during my break. I picked up a new book! 🙂
  • I’ve got my echocardiogram tomorrow. I hope my heart is doing well. 💜 I also need to take care of labs. Busy Wednesday!!
  • Animal Crossing update: Redd was in town and he didn’t have any new paintings or statues. So disappointing. I’ll wait for his next visit. Turnip prices weren’t good enough for me to sell.
  • I wore my Curry jersey today. Still so proud of their win yesterday! 💙💛
  • Cadbury Easter goodies are now available. I’m taking advantage of it. It’s my fave! I bought some on the Walgreens app.
  • I’m focusing on my TEFL course again. I haven’t touched it since November. I hope to make more progress this month as well as February and March.
  • Thinking of my taxes already. Everything will be digital. I don’t have all my documents yet.

That was my day. I hope y’all had a nice one. Take care and be safe!!

Good night.

b

Day 213.

Happy Sunday! What a fun weekend. Today was the final day of the Pinayista Summit. I learned so much, caught up with friends, and met new faces. I’m so empowered and proud to be Pinay! I now know the history behind the word. My mind is blown.

The lightning talks were everything to me. I’m inspired and it’s leading me in the right direction of what I want to do creatively. I have so much to learn, but it’ll be worth it. Next on the list: learn about the pin process and read up on graphic design. 🙂 YAY!!!

Today is also my 13th Anniversary since my Pulmonary Hypertension diagnosis. I was 20 years old. It was a life-changing day, but I also consider it a blessing. I’m still thriving, hustling, and elevating myself despite the doubts and fear. I am powerful! That’s what this weekend taught me. My story matters and so does yours. 💜

In addition to my anniversary – it’s also #dayofthegirl, #internationaldayofthegirl, and #nationalcomingoutday. Sending LOVE to all! There’s so much to celebrate.

It wasn’t a good sports day for the SF Bay Area. YEESH! I caught some of the Niners game. What happened?!! I’m still sticking with them. They are FOREVER! ❤️

Congrats to the Lakers. For Kobe!

I gotta tidy up a bit before bed. Going to play a little Animal Crossing first. 😀 I hope y’all had a nice one. Take care!

Good night.

b

Day 122.

Happy Sunday! 🙂

I spent the day watching Supermarket Sweep, playing Animal Crossing, and had a jam session with my uke. I’m getting more comfortable with switching chords. Yay!

We were invited to a small gathering, but had to politely decline due to the pandemic. I hope everyone had a great time. We miss our friends! ❤️

I bought an AC cap of Celeste. She’s one of my favorite characters. There’s a crew neck I’m looking at on Etsy too. It’s nice that they’re located in California so if I move forward with the purchase I won’t have to wait too long.

I went on the exercise bike for 10 minutes. I call it a victory! I’ve gotta monitor my heart rate. If it’s too high, I slow down or I take a quick break. Having chronic conditions have been tough, but I’m tougher. I’ll always be resilient!

The treat of the day for the fam was ordering matcha drinks and soft serve. I missed it so much! 😋🍦🍵

Well, I hope y’all had a nice one. Take care!

Good night.

b

Day 54.

What a day it’s been. When my sleep gets disturbed, it’s difficult for me to fall back asleep. So I stayed awake and I didn’t nap. Reminds me of college finals – lack of sleep and feeling sluggish.

Animal Crossing is now part of my routine. There are so many new things on the island. I even got to hang out with my cousin on his and I was able to take foreign fruits back with me. I planted them and they should be ready in a few days. Yay! It’s nice to connect with family and friends who also play.

Day 27 of the 30 day uke challenge. I can’t believe it’s been that long. I’ve made progress no matter how big or small. It’s great! Strumming, chord changes, and staying on beat is still a bit hard for me. But practice makes progress. I’ll keep going until I get it right. 😊

I had a video chat with my therapist. It was the first time. Usually we talk on the phone, but I felt comfortable enough this time around.

So much TV. We watched Wheel of Fortune, Forensic Files, The Masked Singer, and Family Feud. It was an eventful day. Now I’m crashing. I can feel the fatigue so I’m hoping I get a good night’s sleep. I’d like to tackle some cleaning tomorrow too.

Lastly, today is World PH Day. It’s been 12 years since my diagnosis. Can’t stop, won’t stop. 💜

Hope your Tuesdays were great. Take care!

Good night.

b

Day 13.

I’m feeling a bit better today. Clarity. And a nice nap helped me out. After many delays, my medication is now in my hands. Thank goodness! I’m so very grateful to my medical team for always being clutch. They really are miracle workers! Shoutout to my pharmacy too for being so patient and helpful with me when I was super upset. That happened yesterday. I already feel better after taking my regular dose. Lastly, thank you to UPS. It was tough, but y’all pulled through during these chaotic times.

I’m also super grateful to my supportive friends and family for letting me vent and checking in. Hi Bianca, Jamie, and Brea! 💕

Broad City is bringing all the laughs. The final season! I’ve got five more episodes to watch. I’ll space it out. 🙂 Gotta be productive these next few days. It doesn’t have to be big tasks. Progress is progress. I’m thinking of taking up a new hobby. Yay!

Hope all your Wednesdays went well. I’m still pretty tired. The stress these last few days have been unreal, but I made it.

Until next time. Good night!

b

Day 12.

Invalidation. That’s all I need to say right now. This day has taken an emotional toll on me. You think people have your back, but at the end of the day they don’t. “Because it isn’t cancer.” What a dumb thing to say. Ignorance at its finest and quite offensive. This isn’t the time to pin health conditions against each other. Every condition matters and we fall into the vulnerable population during this pandemic. In solidarity with all of you. ❤️

I wish I could run away, but there’s nowhere to go.

I’m mad. I’m frustrated, I’m anxious. I’m scared.

Good night.

b

LET ME THINK 31.

It’s been a while since I’ve done this. I’m writing to let go of my anxiety. I’m feeling miserable about myself. I’m trying to breathe. Trying to be rational. But my overthinking always gets the best of me. I hate it.

I’m in dire need of my heart medication. I’ve never been without it. I’m so upset. I’ve cried a bit. When I’m overwhelmed, I cry.

Holding onto hope. There’s so much going on in the world, but this medication is essential to my wellbeing. I’m scared. I’ve contacted my team, I’m in touch with the pharmacy, and I will give UPS a call in the morning.

You’re swamped. I get it. But I’m on the road to getting myself more sick if I don’t take my meds. The life of a chronic condition patient. I don’t have anything to hide. This has been my life since I was 17 and then diagnosed with my heart condition at 20. This pandemic just reemphasizes the struggles of chronic condition patients. This is our reality. Whenever this pandemic passes, our realities remain the same. Struggle and survival.

I’m going to try to sleep, but I don’t know if I can.

b

Day 11.

I haven’t been sleeping at all. I stayed awake to see if there was a delivery update for my medication. At first it said yes, out for delivery! And then an hour or two later it said it’s been delayed. Lots of conflicting information. I get that couriers are swamped, but as I’ve communicated on social media – I’m waiting for medication, not an article of clothing.

I eventually fell asleep. I ended up missing two calls regarding my package. I’m hoping it gets here by end of day. I’m completely out of my medication. I went TWO days without it so I could ration. I felt like complete crap going off of it. This is the life of a chronic condition patient during these unprecedented times. I shouldn’t have to worry about this. I’m frustrated and annoyed. I did everything on my end. So I’m pleading to pls be clutch and get it to me today.

This is why I’ve been lacking productivity. I have no energy whatsoever. I’m just anxious all the time. It’s currently 6:47pm PDT. Still hoping for good news. And this is my rant of the day. Fin.

And please follow your government’s orders. Continue to stay at home so we can flatten the curve!

Lastly, Happy 1st Birthday, Jacob! We miss you. Sending you lots of love. 🥳❤️

Be well.

b

Day 8.

Hope is still alive! I’ve been restless. Didn’t sleep well at all. Doing my best to keep my anxiety at bay.

I cleaned a bit today, but I’m planning to do more tomorrow. I’m just worried about my medicine delivery. It was originally supposed to arrive by the end of the day, but now there’s a delay. I hope it arrives tomorrow. I’ve reached out to customer service. The odd thing is that it’s already in the city. I understand the current situation at hand, but the medication is essential to my wellbeing. I don’t want to stress.

I miss my family and friends so I dedicated a post to them on my personal IG. The love is reciprocated. We’ll get through this together! 💕

Photography is keeping me sane. Not much to write about today. I’m just all up in my own feelings.

Until next time.

b