Day 16.

I’ve got a new avatar for my blog! Thank you to keeshuuu. She’s so talented! I love it.

So I slept the day away. Woo! I’ve just been tired and drained. I’ve been reading stuff online that what we’re all feeling is grief. I totally agree. Speaking for myself, it’s a loss of independence. I’ve always been immunocompromised, but this pandemic has heightened my response. I’ve stayed in my room for many days now. I can’t be around anyone who is under the weather. I just miss doing my own things. I won’t ever take those things for granted. It’s always the little things that mean a lot to me. I’m glad I have a space to call my own and type my thoughts out here.

Bought my uke! It won’t be delivered for another few weeks, but I’m really excited to learn. I’ve already got some songs on my list. But I gotta get the basics down first. Yay!

I’m almost done with Broad City. 😭 Chloe told me about it a few years ago. We haven’t seen each other in so long. We got to catch up a bit on IG. I wished her well.

I’m also rewatching The Lizzie McGuire Movie. She’s the same age as me. Reminds me of better times. I just wish my teenage years were memorable. Some of it is, but the other parts sucked. I always fell for an idiot. None of those people matter anymore. I think I’m much more refined now. 😂 I also watched a few episodes of Step By Step again. Cody always makes me laugh and Dana rules!

That sums up my Saturday. Shout out to the kid sister for making dinner. Fried spam, eggs, garlic rice, and banana ketchup for dip. Perfection. That’ll be the featured image for the entry.

Hope everyone is well. Later!

b

Day 12.

Invalidation. That’s all I need to say right now. This day has taken an emotional toll on me. You think people have your back, but at the end of the day they don’t. “Because it isn’t cancer.” What a dumb thing to say. Ignorance at its finest and quite offensive. This isn’t the time to pin health conditions against each other. Every condition matters and we fall into the vulnerable population during this pandemic. In solidarity with all of you. ❤️

I wish I could run away, but there’s nowhere to go.

I’m mad. I’m frustrated, I’m anxious. I’m scared.

Good night.

b

Day 11.

I haven’t been sleeping at all. I stayed awake to see if there was a delivery update for my medication. At first it said yes, out for delivery! And then an hour or two later it said it’s been delayed. Lots of conflicting information. I get that couriers are swamped, but as I’ve communicated on social media – I’m waiting for medication, not an article of clothing.

I eventually fell asleep. I ended up missing two calls regarding my package. I’m hoping it gets here by end of day. I’m completely out of my medication. I went TWO days without it so I could ration. I felt like complete crap going off of it. This is the life of a chronic condition patient during these unprecedented times. I shouldn’t have to worry about this. I’m frustrated and annoyed. I did everything on my end. So I’m pleading to pls be clutch and get it to me today.

This is why I’ve been lacking productivity. I have no energy whatsoever. I’m just anxious all the time. It’s currently 6:47pm PDT. Still hoping for good news. And this is my rant of the day. Fin.

And please follow your government’s orders. Continue to stay at home so we can flatten the curve!

Lastly, Happy 1st Birthday, Jacob! We miss you. Sending you lots of love. 🥳❤️

Be well.

b

Day 8.

Hope is still alive! I’ve been restless. Didn’t sleep well at all. Doing my best to keep my anxiety at bay.

I cleaned a bit today, but I’m planning to do more tomorrow. I’m just worried about my medicine delivery. It was originally supposed to arrive by the end of the day, but now there’s a delay. I hope it arrives tomorrow. I’ve reached out to customer service. The odd thing is that it’s already in the city. I understand the current situation at hand, but the medication is essential to my wellbeing. I don’t want to stress.

I miss my family and friends so I dedicated a post to them on my personal IG. The love is reciprocated. We’ll get through this together! 💕

Photography is keeping me sane. Not much to write about today. I’m just all up in my own feelings.

Until next time.

b