LET ME THINK 18.

It was a long week. The weekend was restless for me.

The next couple of weeks are going to test my patience, mentality, and focus. I just have to keep going! #resilience Family is keeping me afloat. There will be better days. I know it!!!

On another note, I’ve been thinking about love. All my past crushes and unrequited love. I wish them all well! But wouldn’t it be crazy if I randomly bumped into one of them and suddenly we reconnected?! Yeah, right. Haha. Stranger things have happened.

This is also a reminder that I can do anything! Reach for the stars.

I’m tired. Good night and have a great week!

b

LET ME THINK 17.

I’m gonna switch this one up a bit. Anyway, I’m sleepy, but I can’t sleep. Not until I get this off of my chest.

Am I hard to love? Am I looking for love in all of the wrong places? Am I being proactive about love? Some of the many questions that go on in my anxiety filled mind.

I think I do my best to be my most genuine self and sometimes it still doesn’t feel enough. I feel like putting myself out there will just be disappointing every time. Am I not opening myself up enough? I have my reservations. I’ve been hurt in the past, so my walls are very high. I might’ve mentioned this in a previous entry. I easily am hurt when people disrespect me. At times, I feel like I’m not being taken seriously. On top of that, I’ve encountered people who pose as your wing person only to have them betray you. I understand that everyone isn’t the same, but that one incident stung. I really thought I could trust her. I revisit it a lot and I wish I could’ve done it differently. Instead of telling her that it was okay. Because it wasn’t.

In the words of Kylo Ren, “Let the past die.” Oh believe me, I’m trying.

Now I’m ready to sleep.

Good night.

b

LET ME THINK 16.

  1. This day has come. I’m so sad. Today is our cousin’s funeral. I don’t want to say goodbye. 😦
  2. I’ve been processing the last few days. Family is everything.
  3. Relatives still can’t tell Bianca and I apart. Lol. #twinlife #twins
  4. It’s been great catching up with everyone.
  5. Maria(n) was strong and I will continue to be.

Good night. I have to be up in a few hours.

b

LET ME THINK 15.

  1. It’s been a while since I’ve done this.
  2. Heavy week for me. I’m filled with sadness, but comforted with peace.
  3. I’ll be seeing family this weekend. Three days of togetherness. Much needed.
  4. I’m learning to let the little things go. After Marian’s passing, life isn’t the same.
  5. We miss her so much. I wish we had more time. Where did the years go?

Good night!

b

LET ME THINK 14.

  1. Still pumped because of our extra innings victory. Go Giants! πŸ™‚ #beatla #andrewmcclutchen
  2. Why does the weekend always go by so quickly?
  3. Looking forward to the warm weather today!
  4. I’ve been cutting out junk food. It’s so hard! Especially sweets. Ahhhhh.
  5. I dislike losing my things. Where did I put my cardigan? Random, I know.

Have a great week! Good night.

b

LET ME THINK 12.

  1. Beer and pizza is always a good pick me up. Chill times with great people.
  2. I love dogs! I really do.
  3. I need more Easter candy in my life. Time to bulk up.
  4. This time of the year is always tough. Laki’s death anniversary is tomorrow. It’ll be a year since he went away. 😦
  5. Keep your loved ones close. Always.

Good night. It’ll be a busy day!

b

LET ME THINK 11.

  1. My heart is heavy tonight. A friend I knew through social media passed away a few days ago. I’m quite sad about the news. RIP Rebecca. Thank you for your light and everything you shared with the world. πŸ’œ
  2. This rain makes me tired and sleepy.
  3. Today was all about perspective. (3/13/18)
  4. I ate too much chocolate: ice cream cake, ice cream pie, and Cadbury mini eggs. 😜
  5. I’ve gotta spend some time with my cousin & her family visiting the city.

Good night.

b

LET ME THINK 10.

It’s been quite a week for me. I’m recovering. When you’re a lupus patient, there’s a lot that needs to be done.

  1. I’m currently dealing with anemia. 😦 I went in for my first iron infusion on 3/9/18. Some side effects are hitting me now. I have my second infusion this week. I’m hoping I start to improve. Energy levels have been pretty low.
  2. I hate it when folks make assumptions. I’m guilty of doing that too. But I hate it when people push. It makes me uncomfortable.
  3. On a lighter note, Richard Sherman is now a Niner! Totally disliked him when he was with Seattle, but he’s a great addition to the team. Can’t complain.
  4. DST is here! I’m so ready. I love it when it’s still bright as the day goes on.
  5. Watched throwback Pixar. Those were the days. Finding Nemo ❀️

That’s it. I gotta rest up again. Good night!

b