family – Page 48 – let me think.

Day 27.

I was restless for most of the day. My anxiety was up there. I eventually fell asleep for a few hours, which was nice. ☺️

My uke is here! I won’t be able to unbox it until tomorrow. 24 hour rule for cardboard boxes. Better to be overly cautious than not.

Our aunt has officially tested positive for Covid-19. I sent her a message this afternoon and she says she’s doing okay. She’s a nurse so she was bound to be exposed to it. Her entire household has to be tested. I’m thinking of everyone over there, especially our Lola (grandma) and uncle. I pray that they’re okay.

I got to chat with Brea this afternoon via text. It’s always nice to catch up with a friend. I love to laugh! Haha.

British goodies have been unboxed. I’m so happy! Reminds me of our London tour. I miss it so much.

That was my day. Continuing to wish you all well. Be safe! ❤️

Good night.

April 8, 2020April 8, 2020 by bernadette Categories: 2020, lifeTags: covid19, family, london, sf, shelter in place, social distancing Leave a comment

Day 26.

So I slept. Lol. I stayed up watching The Roommate. I give it a 4/10. One of the main characters was so oblivious the entire time. If you have time, check it out on Netflix. Lol.

British goodies are finally here! But we won’t be able to open it for another few hours. Mom is paranoid about the cardboard and coronavirus. Makes sense. So we’ll get to open it at noon tomorrow. 🙂

Sent an email that I shouldn’t have. Because the package was delivered today. I had no idea. No one updated me with a tracking number. Oh well. It’s in my hands.

Uke should be here tomorrow. I’m so excited!

Credits to Sachi Liwag for the graphic. Kapampangan! That’s the language I grew up speaking as a kid. I still speak it. Pinay roots. 🇵🇭❤️ It means to rest. So important during these times. And please keep my aunt in your prayers. Wishing you all well!

April 7, 2020April 8, 2020 by bernadette Categories: 2020, lifeTags: family, kapampangan, philippines, sf, shelter in place, social distancing Leave a comment

Day 22.

Happy Birthday, Sal! She’s 7 today. ❤️ I’m really happy we rescued her. She’s so sweet. Love you. And a Happy Birthday to my friend, Chris! We met at CCSF and we’ve kept in touch since. Those friendships are the best. Hope you enjoyed the day! We’ll celebrate once we’re able. 🧡

I slept all day. Noticing a pattern? I’m trying to normalize my sleep. It’s pretty difficult. Ahh. I’ll try to sleep earlier tonight. But I want to watch Onward. Looks like a really good movie.

Anyway, I spent part of my day drafting an email. And then I sent it. Then I had to pay a bill. Successful Friday!

Glad it’s the weekend. I hope I’m productive. And even if I’m not, I’m going through all of this. We all are.

Good night!

April 3, 2020 by bernadette Categories: 2020, lifeTags: family, sally, sf, shelter in place, social distancing, tgif Leave a comment

Day 16.

I’ve got a new avatar for my blog! Thank you to keeshuuu. She’s so talented! I love it.

So I slept the day away. Woo! I’ve just been tired and drained. I’ve been reading stuff online that what we’re all feeling is grief. I totally agree. Speaking for myself, it’s a loss of independence. I’ve always been immunocompromised, but this pandemic has heightened my response. I’ve stayed in my room for many days now. I can’t be around anyone who is under the weather. I just miss doing my own things. I won’t ever take those things for granted. It’s always the little things that mean a lot to me. I’m glad I have a space to call my own and type my thoughts out here.

Bought my uke! It won’t be delivered for another few weeks, but I’m really excited to learn. I’ve already got some songs on my list. But I gotta get the basics down first. Yay!

I’m almost done with Broad City. 😭 Chloe told me about it a few years ago. We haven’t seen each other in so long. We got to catch up a bit on IG. I wished her well.

I’m also rewatching The Lizzie McGuire Movie. She’s the same age as me. Reminds me of better times. I just wish my teenage years were memorable. Some of it is, but the other parts sucked. I always fell for an idiot. None of those people matter anymore. I think I’m much more refined now. 😂 I also watched a few episodes of Step By Step again. Cody always makes me laugh and Dana rules!

That sums up my Saturday. Shout out to the kid sister for making dinner. Fried spam, eggs, garlic rice, and banana ketchup for dip. Perfection. That’ll be the featured image for the entry.

Hope everyone is well. Later!

March 28, 2020March 28, 2020 by bernadette Categories: 2020, lifeTags: chronic condition, covid19, Disney Plus, family, food, health, hulu, movies, sf, shelter in place, social distancing Leave a comment

Day 14.

It’s been two weeks. I’m doing okay. Everything is repetitive, but I can’t complain. I’m at home where we have access to water, electricity, food, and facilities. All of that is a blessing. ❤️

I’ve been thinking a lot about enamel pins. I’m hoping to design one for a good cause. I haven’t figured out what it’ll look like. Things are brewing and it’s a process. I’ll continue to be patient with myself.

I slept a lot today. I woke up at a decent time, but decided to nap twice. Lol. I’m okay with that. I also watched another episode of Broad City. Abbi and Ilana are BFF goals. Haha.

Traveling dreams are real. I went through my camera roll looking at pictures from our family visit to Canada in 2018. Good times. I miss flying. I miss discovering new places. This too shall pass, but until then I’ll continue looking at pictures to remind me of better days ahead.

And I want to learn the uke! I’m looking for a nice beginner one to purchase. I played the piano for two years when I was a teen and I was in choir in high school. Other than that, I don’t have a lot of background in music. There’s always time to learn something new. I’m looking forward to it! 🙂

And Happy Air Max Day! I love Nike. ☺️

That was my Thursday. Thanks for reading!

March 26, 2020March 26, 2020 by bernadette Categories: 2020, lifeTags: air max day, canada 2018, covid19, family, life, nike, photography, sf, shelter in place, social distancing, tbt, throwback, traveling, tv Leave a comment

LET ME THINK 32.

Maintaining friendships has always been a challenge for me. I think a lot of it just stems from my own anxiety and just feeling disconnected. We constantly move through so many spaces. And I’ve been thinking about this a lot since the shelter in place.

People change and they are allowed to elevate themselves. We’re never really the same people. These past friendships did serve me a purpose. And if I can think of one word to connect all of them it would be growth. Some friendships have expiration dates and I’ve accepted that. But I do yearn for what was. I’ve always been nostalgic and reflect on the past. I don’t stay there. I guess you can consider it a pit stop.

During this pandemic, it’s allowed me to hold my loved ones dear. I miss my family and my friends. But the connection is still there. I’d like to continue that with folks from my past. Even if it’s just a text saying hello. I think now more than ever, we all need connection.

What an uncertain time, but all we can do is just go with it.

That’s my spiel. Later!

March 26, 2020March 26, 2020 by bernadette Categories: 2020, lifeTags: connection, covid19, family, friends, sf, shelter in place, social distancing Leave a comment

Day 12.

Invalidation. That’s all I need to say right now. This day has taken an emotional toll on me. You think people have your back, but at the end of the day they don’t. “Because it isn’t cancer.” What a dumb thing to say. Ignorance at its finest and quite offensive. This isn’t the time to pin health conditions against each other. Every condition matters and we fall into the vulnerable population during this pandemic. In solidarity with all of you. ❤️

I wish I could run away, but there’s nowhere to go.

I’m mad. I’m frustrated, I’m anxious. I’m scared.

Good night.

March 24, 2020March 25, 2020 by bernadette Categories: 2020, lifeTags: chronic condition, family, health, invalidated, life, lupus awareness, lupus warriors, phighter, sf, social distancing Leave a comment

Day 11.

I haven’t been sleeping at all. I stayed awake to see if there was a delivery update for my medication. At first it said yes, out for delivery! And then an hour or two later it said it’s been delayed. Lots of conflicting information. I get that couriers are swamped, but as I’ve communicated on social media – I’m waiting for medication, not an article of clothing.

I eventually fell asleep. I ended up missing two calls regarding my package. I’m hoping it gets here by end of day. I’m completely out of my medication. I went TWO days without it so I could ration. I felt like complete crap going off of it. This is the life of a chronic condition patient during these unprecedented times. I shouldn’t have to worry about this. I’m frustrated and annoyed. I did everything on my end. So I’m pleading to pls be clutch and get it to me today.

This is why I’ve been lacking productivity. I have no energy whatsoever. I’m just anxious all the time. It’s currently 6:47pm PDT. Still hoping for good news. And this is my rant of the day. Fin.

And please follow your government’s orders. Continue to stay at home so we can flatten the curve!

Lastly, Happy 1st Birthday, Jacob! We miss you. Sending you lots of love. 🥳❤️

Be well.

March 23, 2020March 23, 2020 by bernadette Categories: 2020, lifeTags: chronic condition, covid19, family, medication, phighter, shelter in place, social distancing Leave a comment

Day 9.

I really thought it was day 10. LOL. Like I said, the days are just blending together. I’m losing count. Typical Saturday for me. I didn’t sleep well because I was worried about my medication delivery. It’s being held at a center here in the city, so I’m hoping it’ll be out for delivery again on Monday. From what I’m told, it was some kind of an emergency. I hope everything is okay. Thank you, UPS for delivering! This hasn’t happened to me before, but I understand. It’s the new normal for everyone.

I’m planning to figure out my routine in the next few days. I find myself to be more productive when I’m dressed and ready for the day. I just gotta put it into practice. Nothing compares to a cozy & warm bed though. Netflix is my fallback too. My screen time is horrendous. I’m putting that out into the world.

I rewatched a bit of Lost in Translation. It’s the next best thing. We’ll all eventually get to see Japan. But until then, movies, tv, and books will have to do.

I got my Cadbury chocolate! Easter candy, woo!! 🙂 Target was clutch with the online orders. It’s such a good alternative to leaving the house. I’m a freaking hermit nowadays.

Highlight of my day: catching up with friends on Zoom! It was nice to see what everyone is up to during this shelter in place. We’re all on the same boat. We can get through this together! Cheers to video games especially Nintendo! And a shoutout to Bern. We missed you! Hope dinner was delicious. Catch you next time.

I need a good night’s sleep. I’m ready, haha.

Be safe and well! ❤

March 21, 2020March 21, 2020 by bernadette Categories: lifeTags: family, friends, life, shelter in place, social distancing, weekend, zoom Leave a comment

Day 8.

Hope is still alive! I’ve been restless. Didn’t sleep well at all. Doing my best to keep my anxiety at bay.

I cleaned a bit today, but I’m planning to do more tomorrow. I’m just worried about my medicine delivery. It was originally supposed to arrive by the end of the day, but now there’s a delay. I hope it arrives tomorrow. I’ve reached out to customer service. The odd thing is that it’s already in the city. I understand the current situation at hand, but the medication is essential to my wellbeing. I don’t want to stress.

I miss my family and friends so I dedicated a post to them on my personal IG. The love is reciprocated. We’ll get through this together! 💕

Photography is keeping me sane. Not much to write about today. I’m just all up in my own feelings.

Until next time.

March 20, 2020 by bernadette Categories: lifeTags: chronic condition, family, friends, life, phighter, photography Leave a comment