Tag: feelings

Finals week.

I’m all over the place right now and processing a lot of feelings and emotions. It started a few days ago. I’m sitting with it, but I’m unsure what to do with myself.

I’m in need of a mental break from work and school. It’s coming, but I have a few more days! Can’t wait to be done with finals.

This year came and went. I was on survival mode the last few months: hospital stays + major surgery. As I’m trying to get back to my usual way of life, lots of changes have popped up. I’m feeling some type of way. 😭 Goodbyes are hard for me. I’ve never liked them.

So I’m in this weird place of trying to be okay with the change, still holding on, but I know it’s time to let go. 💔 It all feels rushed and I think I need to be okay with not getting proper closure.

I’m stubborn and I want it done my way, but we all know that’s not how life works!!! Yeah, I’m still processing.

I cried a few days ago because I was really sad. Now I feel okay, but I’m still sad. Sighhh.

I know I’ll be alright. It’s just going to take a bit of time.

That’s all I wanted to say. Good night.

b

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Overwhelmed.

I just finished midterms and I’m feeling it. I’m tired and a bit all over the place.

I feel disrespected, not considered, and just distant. Am I too much? I’m so kind to everyone. It’s hard giving all of my energy away and nothing comes back. I don’t ever expect anything. But it would be nice to be pleasantly surprised one of these days.

I don’t feel good about myself. I’m very insecure right now. I’m irritable. I’m angry. I’m frustrated. All these not good feelings.

I just drank boba too. So I’m tired, but I can’t sleep. Not a very good idea by me.

I need to let go. Just let go! I don’t need closure. Just walk away.

I hope things get better. 💜

b

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🥲

I’m too kind. I’m too accommodating. And when I say I don’t care, I actually do.

I try to create boundaries and I can’t.

What is wrong with me?!!

Time to call it a night. I’m overthinking, being insecure, and these jealous feelings are coming out again. I don’t like the person that I am right now.

Sweet dreams.

b

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It hurts.

Proud of the journey, but damn it hurts. ❤️‍🩹 Especially because I had an inkling and I was spot on. I’m tired. I think I need to throw in the towel. I’m traumatized again. I really don’t know why this continues to happen to me. I just have a type and I always go for the wrong ones. This time I didn’t need to ask for help because I’m beautiful and I’m capable. But honestly it’s him, not me.

Part of me still wants an answer. I’m stubborn okay! Once I know what it is, I guess I can move on. Rip off the bandage!! I’m scared, but like take the jump. This crush has lasted a while. I’m anxious again. 😭 Help!!!

Still awake because I’m annoyed and sad. I saw it with my own eyes. I hurt my own feelings again.

Time to ko. It’s a new week!

Good night.

b

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Le sighhh.

I’m typing this out with a heavy heart. As entertaining and fun sports can be, someone has to lose at the end of the day. Unfortunately, it was the Niners. 💔 We were in the same position four years ago. This was the “revenge” game. I can’t bring myself to rewatch the game. I was too stressed and anxious during my shift yesterday to fully process everything. Glad I’m off today to be gentle with myself. And hey, I have my birthday to look forward to, so that’s a plus.

Mom got me into football and so did my brother! I will stick with the Niners. Our time will come. Not sure when, but they will get #6. I hope it’s in my lifetime. Faithful forever.

Time to go back to sleep. Byeee!

❤️ #FTTB

b

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Still emo.

Not much has changed. I’m always in my feelings. Sighhh.

Listening to music to take my mind off of things. Baseball is keeping me afloat. I’d like to believe things will get better in all aspects of my life.

Manifesting it! Putting it out into the universe. My Piscean soul is screaming. ♓️

Hoping for a great week! I can’t believe it’s the last week of June. WUT?! 😱 Please stick around, summer. I’m enjoying all of the sunshine.

Good night.

b

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Day 292.

Happy Tuesday! Time for bullet points. 😜

  • I spoke to my therapist today. It was a good session! 💕
  • Toasted sourdough with Brie is the best. 🍞🧀
  • I was able to do some laundry. Yes!!
  • Took a long nap. 😬😴
  • I just started watching Bridgerton. I am loving it! Thanks for the recommendation, Brea. The music is superb. The cast is fantastic! Can’t wait to see how the story unfolds.
  • Animal Crossing update: I didn’t do much on my island. I’m actually not playing a lot as of late. I do want to get more snowflake DIYs!!
  • I might watch a movie tonight. Maybe Last Christmas again. 🥰
  • This time a year ago – we visited Stonehenge! It was my dream to see it in person. Very thankful for the experience. I miss traveling! Until we can safely do so, I’m staying home. 😷
  • December is almost over. Part of me is excited, but the other part of me is a bit sad. This year has been bittersweet.

That was my Tuesday! I think I’ll be using bullet points more often to switch up my blogging style. Hope y’all had a nice one! Take care and be safe.

Good night.

b

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Day 167.

It’s been a heavy day for me. I had to take a nap after hearing about the current events in sports, politics, and the murder of innocent people protesting for change! I’ve been very vocal about my political views. My blog is a place of love and safety. I will continue to support #BlackLivesMatter. 🖤

I’m also dealing with my own personal issues. I guess I’m trying to figure out what was said. Am I overthinking? Am I overreacting? I’m a strong Piscean womyn. I’ve always had good intuition. Of course people are owed the benefit of the doubt. So we shall see. I had to step away from my phone for the last few hours. I’ll respond when I’m not so emotionally charged and clear headed. This pandemic has become overwhelming. I miss social interaction especially in public settings, but I’m still doing my part and exercising caution no matter how much I want to meet somebody new.

I haven’t found the strength to study and take care of work stuff. Maybe I can work on something for an hour or two. I must play my uke too. I played some Animal Crossing too. I was quite distracted so I didn’t play for long. 🙃

I finished my 100 squats! I’m challenging myself to take care of my body and eat well. So far I’ve done 300. Another 300 more! I can!!! 💜💪🏼💜

Lastly, Happy National Dog Day! To the present and past puppers, thank you for your love and loyalty. We love you always! ❤️

Time to focus. Hope y’all had a nice one. Take care!

Good night.

b

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