Tag: photography

juggling act.

hi! it’s me. juggling school and work. it’s a doozy, but i think i’m doing fairly well. i just need to focus on getting sleep. that’s been tough. energy levels have been depleted most of the week. i have my midterm on tuesday. more stuff to tend to come thursday & sunday.

had brunch with isay and matin! that made my morning. 🐰🍳🧇

got to leave work a little early since i had to catch griff! 🥰🌀 one of her demo tracks made me cry. it spoke to me. glad i did something nice for myself. decided to buy a dad cap from her merch stand. love it! live music is forever.

brunch.
griff. 🫶🏼
marquee.

had a late dinner and watched music videos with the twin. good times!

also got to see him yesterday which was nice. got him and mel ube horchatas. i’m so clutch! plus it was really hot. 🥵 heat wave is pretty much done in the city. i’ll miss you, summer.

time to ko! long day ahead of me. oh man. throw me a bone, universe.

good night. 💜

b

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🖤🧡 x 💚💛

Yesterday’s hang out was a lot of fun! I got confirmation. 🥰 Nerves were there initially, but I was able to calm down once we got to the yard. We were running a little late, but that’s okay. I forgive him! 😆

We got chicken lumpia, dole whips, a spicy chicken sandwich, and a Coke. Good food and great company! I always told myself to take a risk. I was quite scared in 22/23. I was dealing with a lot mentally. Things changed for me in 23/24!

I’d like to believe this is a start for a blooming friendship. I’m content with where I’m at atm. July was fun, but I hope August will be even better!!

I’m really proud of myself. 💜

Good night.

b

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Think good thoughts.

This week has been a lot. Trying my best to stay positive despite the negativity!!!

Summer work is winding down and I’m looking forward to a lot these next few weeks. School is right around the corner too, but I will push through like I always do. I got this!!!

Shoe shopping has been fun, but Nordstrom let me down. Repurchased the shoe again, but I’m not sure if I’ll be successful.🤞

Baseball is back! ASG is always whack. Lol.

New music is keeping me on my feet. Also trying this new thing by not comparing myself to others. It does absolutely nothing for me!!! Keep shining, b. 💜💜💜

He told me some positive things last week and it’s made me smile, but I’m also shy now. 😂🥵

I hope I have a good time later! The music mix!!!

Kk time to sleep. Good night.

b

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🥲

I’m too kind. I’m too accommodating. And when I say I don’t care, I actually do.

I try to create boundaries and I can’t.

What is wrong with me?!!

Time to call it a night. I’m overthinking, being insecure, and these jealous feelings are coming out again. I don’t like the person that I am right now.

Sweet dreams.

b

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It hurts.

Proud of the journey, but damn it hurts. ❤️‍🩹 Especially because I had an inkling and I was spot on. I’m tired. I think I need to throw in the towel. I’m traumatized again. I really don’t know why this continues to happen to me. I just have a type and I always go for the wrong ones. This time I didn’t need to ask for help because I’m beautiful and I’m capable. But honestly it’s him, not me.

Part of me still wants an answer. I’m stubborn okay! Once I know what it is, I guess I can move on. Rip off the bandage!! I’m scared, but like take the jump. This crush has lasted a while. I’m anxious again. 😭 Help!!!

Still awake because I’m annoyed and sad. I saw it with my own eyes. I hurt my own feelings again.

Time to ko. It’s a new week!

Good night.

b

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🙄

Are all guys really bad at communicating? I think it’s rude to not reply to a text message. I originally thought, “maybe he’ll return the same energy to me?” It took me two days to respond, but I responded. I never heard back!!! It drives me nuts because now I’m internalizing it. A double text and no response. Feeling like an idiot.

I got through 6/6 shifts!!! 😮‍💨 I’m exhausted, but it’s worth it. Anything for baseball. 🫶🏼

Going to create tough boundaries this week. I need to follow through! No matter what.

I need to submit some apps too. Also I’ve been winging my eyeliner and it’s been great. Lots of practice, patience, and a steady hand!!

Kk, I’m tired. Good night. 🧡

BEAT LA!!!!

b

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It’s never me.

In the years of my existence, I’ve never been able to get the guy. Some of you might be thinking, “yeah right.” But it’s true. My crushes in elementary school, high school, community college, university, work, and even dating apps! They say rejection is redirection. And it probably is to be honest.

I haven’t been rejected yet, but the events from almost two weeks ago certainly feels like it. I’m still gutted. I’m creating hard boundaries. I wanted to reach out yesterday, but I think it’s important to limit access via text and social media. He’s got anything to say, you know how to reach me.

I’m honestly not surprised, just really disappointed. My gut has never been wrong and I was so right in this case!!! I hate that. 😭

It’s a new month, so I’m hoping to start fresh. Part of me still wants to know, but I’m scared. I don’t know anymore. This would be easier if he would just reach out, but no.

I’m physically tired from the last week. The Giants lost in Boston. That was an annoying few innings to watch. Turned it off and took a nap. Lol.

Still in my head. I hope to figure all of this out. For now, I’ll be listening to music and decompressing from everything.

Good night. 🧡

b

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Still in my head.

I’d like to be a rational adult about everything. Am I jumping to conclusions? Maybe. But like the universe gave me a sign. What else is there to see?!

Still bummed out. Music is calming me, but also making me super emo.

I just want Friday and Saturday to be over and done with honestly. I’ve been through worse. I can get through it!!! But I’ll have to face the music. Sighhh.

But first, baseball! I’m so ready. 🖤🧡

Good night.

b

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Irritation.

My feelings have been all over the place as of late. My anger is displaced. I’m frustrated. And I’m tired. I don’t want to try anymore. I opened up only for it to kick my ass.

I’ve become very distant and cold. I think people can probably pick up on it. It’s hard being in said environment and trying to go about things as if it’s all “okay”. This crush is crushing. I just want to detach, hide, and not deal with anyone atm.

Going to watch the Giants on Wednesday to keep my mind off of things. Kinda dreading the weekend. I’ve cried plenty. Why do I always get hurt?! 😭😫

Why can’t it ever be me?!!

b

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