Farewell February.

I had a lot of hope and excitement in the beginning of the month! But of course, life happens.

Still isolating from school, work, and the fam. I resume normal activities in a few days! I hope I’m Covid negative soon. I’m restless. Yearning to be independent again. I’ll never take doing my laundry, making my own food, and running my own errands for granted.

Not the best start for 36, but that’s okay. Patience! I’m almost there. I can feel it.

Now I need to read and type up a reflection. Still slaying even when I’m not 100%. Still missing Beari a lot. ❤️🐻❤️

Good night and Go Dubs!

b

Grief.

I can remember a relative passing away when I was 12. It was my first real glimpse with death. I can also recall our first pet’s passing. It was a cold and rainy day in January. She was too young. 😭

It’s normal. As you age, the people around you get older and pass on. I lost three grandparents in the 2010s. As a young adult, the loss was palpable. I was sad, angry, and in disbelief. I’ve come to terms with it a decade later, but the void never leaves me. The same can be said about family pets.

Losing Beari has suffocated me at times. I didn’t want to let go, but euthanasia was the best for her. I’m still so angry because cancer took her away from us. I just picked up her chew toys in my room. I miss her so much. Her scent lingers at home. The silence is deafening. I miss her barks. I miss her companionship. I miss everything! 🥺 This is an adjustment period. It’d be nice to take in another dog, but I’m not ready. We’re not ready.

Her birthday is almost here. We’d like to have a special meal for her and maybe some cupcakes to celebrate her life. Change comes with the territory. I’m doing my best to adapt. Owning a pet is one of the greatest feelings in the world! But saying goodbye is the hardest part.

I love you, Beari. ❤️🐻❤️

b

Lacking inspiration.

Hiiii!

I’m better! Thank you, antibiotics. On another note, I’m dealing with some pain. It’s been lingering since I came down with a terrible cold back in May. I’m a little worried, but I must be brave. 💪🏼

It’s summer vacay and I’ve been off the grid. I’m catching up on sleep and TV. Movies too! I’m hoping to find my inspiration again with photography. I think I discussed this in my previous posts. I can’t even remember! 😬 This year has been trying. It feels like too much. It’s isolating. These feelings aren’t new. It’s chronic. I speak to my therapist every few weeks. I think my body is still in shock. It’s lonely. It’s scary. But I remain hopeful. Always.

That’s my short update. Baseball is keeping me afloat and spending time with doggies.

Here’s to a lovely weekend! ❤️

b