It’s been a year since you were called home and I find myself looking for signs from you. A moth?! I’ll take it. A butterfly? Yes. Anything from nature really. I miss your voice, your cooking, and your calm nature.
Continue to guide us wherever you are. I love you! Always. 🥰
Bodetski
Proud of the journey, but damn it hurts. ❤️🩹 Especially because I had an inkling and I was spot on. I’m tired. I think I need to throw in the towel. I’m traumatized again. I really don’t know why this continues to happen to me. I just have a type and I always go for the wrong ones. This time I didn’t need to ask for help because I’m beautiful and I’m capable. But honestly it’s him, not me.
Part of me still wants an answer. I’m stubborn okay! Once I know what it is, I guess I can move on. Rip off the bandage!! I’m scared, but like take the jump. This crush has lasted a while. I’m anxious again. 😭 Help!!!
Still awake because I’m annoyed and sad. I saw it with my own eyes. I hurt my own feelings again.
Time to ko. It’s a new week!
Good night.
b
Are all guys really bad at communicating? I think it’s rude to not reply to a text message. I originally thought, “maybe he’ll return the same energy to me?” It took me two days to respond, but I responded. I never heard back!!! It drives me nuts because now I’m internalizing it. A double text and no response. Feeling like an idiot.
I got through 6/6 shifts!!! 😮💨 I’m exhausted, but it’s worth it. Anything for baseball. 🫶🏼
Going to create tough boundaries this week. I need to follow through! No matter what.
I need to submit some apps too. Also I’ve been winging my eyeliner and it’s been great. Lots of practice, patience, and a steady hand!!
Kk, I’m tired. Good night. 🧡
BEAT LA!!!!
b
In the years of my existence, I’ve never been able to get the guy. Some of you might be thinking, “yeah right.” But it’s true. My crushes in elementary school, high school, community college, university, work, and even dating apps! They say rejection is redirection. And it probably is to be honest.
I haven’t been rejected yet, but the events from almost two weeks ago certainly feels like it. I’m still gutted. I’m creating hard boundaries. I wanted to reach out yesterday, but I think it’s important to limit access via text and social media. He’s got anything to say, you know how to reach me.
I’m honestly not surprised, just really disappointed. My gut has never been wrong and I was so right in this case!!! I hate that. 😭
It’s a new month, so I’m hoping to start fresh. Part of me still wants to know, but I’m scared. I don’t know anymore. This would be easier if he would just reach out, but no.
I’m physically tired from the last week. The Giants lost in Boston. That was an annoying few innings to watch. Turned it off and took a nap. Lol.
Still in my head. I hope to figure all of this out. For now, I’ll be listening to music and decompressing from everything.
Good night. 🧡
b
let me think. 