Tag: blah

It’s never me.

In the years of my existence, I’ve never been able to get the guy. Some of you might be thinking, “yeah right.” But it’s true. My crushes in elementary school, high school, community college, university, work, and even dating apps! They say rejection is redirection. And it probably is to be honest.

I haven’t been rejected yet, but the events from almost two weeks ago certainly feels like it. I’m still gutted. I’m creating hard boundaries. I wanted to reach out yesterday, but I think it’s important to limit access via text and social media. He’s got anything to say, you know how to reach me.

I’m honestly not surprised, just really disappointed. My gut has never been wrong and I was so right in this case!!! I hate that. 😭

It’s a new month, so I’m hoping to start fresh. Part of me still wants to know, but I’m scared. I don’t know anymore. This would be easier if he would just reach out, but no.

I’m physically tired from the last week. The Giants lost in Boston. That was an annoying few innings to watch. Turned it off and took a nap. Lol.

Still in my head. I hope to figure all of this out. For now, I’ll be listening to music and decompressing from everything.

Good night. 🧡

b

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Reminiscing.

now playing: Sleep All Day – Jason Mraz

I haven’t listened to his old stuff in a while. Jason Mraz was a big part of my teenage years and into my twenties. His music was my comforter.

There’s been a lot of self reflection this week. I’ve found myself on the verge of tears sometimes. The feeling of loss is something. There’s a lot of sadness, but it puts everything into perspective. I’m doing my best to live well! I may lack sleep sometimes, but despite feeling tired I still keep going.

I tried to get back into “dating”, but I’m pretty much dating myself. What I mean by that is simply this. Well, my sister made this connection. My chronic conditions are my relationship. Ups and downs! Pretty much what a relationship entails. Didn’t ever see it that way. I’m not sure if anyone will ever come along for the ride, but I’m okay with that. I’m content knowing that I’m taking care of myself. And hey, if someone comes along, that’s fine. Just keep up with me. I’m unstoppable. 🙂

That’s my word vomit for the night. I also had quite a day. To keep it short: people with terrible attitudes suck. Super toxic. But that’s on them, not me.

Getting sleepy. Good night.

b

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